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Article by Catherine Franz

Imagine this, a co-worker enters your office and says:”Cathy, could I talk with you for a minute? I’m having areal problem with….” You glance at your watch and think ofthe report that’s due in an hour. What do you do?What happens if you were Cathy’s supervisor?Let’s continue. You’re cooking dinner, starting tounstress, the food preparation timing is coming together–for once, and your mother calls: “Could we talk, it’simportant, I need someone to talk to?” What do you say?What we would like to say and what we end up doing isusually two different things. Good news, tactfully sayingno is a learned skill. It requires know-how and practice.Let’s get into ten how-tos and alternatives to help youpractice.Tip 1: There are three parts to meshing a “no but not no”response. The first part acknowledges and empathizes. Thesecond part is a situation statement. And the third part isan action statement.An example of an empathy statement: “Sam, I’m sure thisproblem is important.”Now let’s add a situation statement: “I’m working on areport that I promised to finish within the next hour.”The third, an action statement, needs to describe what youwill do or offer as an alternative: “Let’s get togetherthis afternoon at 2 PM. I’ll meet you in your office.”You have just said no, without saying no.Tip 2: What if its your supervisor interrupting you? Whatdo you do? Here’s how to mesh the three parts.Sandy, your supervisor enters, “Lisa, I hate to interruptyou, but we have a real problem in the field, I need to talkwith you right away. Could I see you in my office?”First, the acknowledgment statement: “Sandy, I’m sure thisis an important problem.” Second, the situation segment:”I’m working on that report you requested by noon.” Third,adding the action: “Would you like me to defer the reportuntil 2 PM [its imperative to offer an exact time] so we canmeet now? Or would you like me to complete this and thencome to your office?” This response allows your supervisorto see your perspective, situation, and make a decision.Tip 3: Discouraging professional interrupters. Theseprofessionals make a career out of interrupting. They starttalking and don’t stop. They go on and on and when theyfinally stop to catch a breath, and you get to saysomething, they interrupt a few minutes later. How do youhandle these?Movement is the key. If cornered behind your desk, standup, and move. If standing up, move away. If sitting down,stand up. You can change momentum by dropping something, orturning sideways. Reach for something that has nothing todo with the conversation, or excuse you to the restroom.Interrupt in the same manner the use with you. Go ahead,they do it because it appears normal to them. Here are afew template statements: “Where is this leading?” “What’syour point, I’ve gotten lost in what I think is the trivia?”It’s important to practice patience. These professionalsdon’t usually hear you the first few times. Become a brokenrecord if need be. Identify what it is about theircommunication style or interruption process that annoys you.Provide your feedback and your preferred method.Tip 4: What about the few that don’t get your hints?Sometimes following you down the hall or continuing to talk”at” you instead of “with” you? Be direct with this rudeoffender. If they appear to be bruised, don’t let it botheryou. They don’t really take it personally, even if they sayso. It is a form of manipulation. Don’t play and don’tapologize.If they persist, give them an ultimatum: “You rudelyinterrupt me. I’ve tolerated this them in the past;however, I need for it to stop now.” Eventually when theyfinally realize you’re not paying their game, they willstop, and even pretend to be offended. Later they willreturn with respect. Hopefully, with a new awareness oftheir behavior. But don’t hope. If they don’t return, youhaven’t lost anything.Tip 5: If you can, keep doing what you are doing. Look up,smile, point to a notepad and pen, and then return to whatyou were doing.Tip 6: Sometimes the position of your furniture invitesinterruptions. Especially if your office is beautifullydesigned, or contains natural ingredients, like plants.Others want to be around this energy. It’s attractive.It’s renewing to them as much as it is to you. There’s onlyone suggestion — get them to change their office to reflectthe same. Then they will not want to leave their office.Tip 7: If you frequently are trapped behind your desk.Plan and explore various escape routes and methods. Youmight want to rearrange the furniture to that allows escaperoutes.Tip 8: Discourage squatters. If your interruptions are dueto people consistently coming in and just sitting andtalking, remove the empty chairs. Place them outside youroffice.Tip 9: Do people wait for you to get off a phone call?Place a sign on the desk: “If I’m on a phone call, pleaseleave me a note. I’ll check back with you as soon as I’moff the phone.”An alternative: Train others in a silent hand code. Useyour fingers to indicate how long you are going to be. Oneindex finger explains that you will be off the phone in aminute or two, please stay. Full hand with a wave says, “Idon’t know how long and I’ll get back to you.” This silentcode maintains your thought rhythm, acknowledges them, andallows them to make a choice based on their time.Tip 10: Many ways for handling, interruptions at work canalso apply at home. Here’s one that works well.Name a “personal spot”. An area you can call your own. Itcan be a den, sewing room, shed, or an extra bedroom. Ifyou have children, give them the same opportunity.Purchase a clock sign at the office supply store — the typeretailer’s use on their front doors–to indicate what timeyou will emerge. Add a white board for notes. A magneticboard works well for smaller children. Create magnets foreach family member: “Bobby wants you.”The Other Side Of The CoinThe other side of this perspective is using interruptions toboost productivity. People sometimes use interruptions topush them into overdrive. It helps them, yet disruptsothers. It is a habit that gets them to move past their ownprocrastination and get their tasks completed. Thisbehavior causes stress-related illness. This can be anaddictive behavior sometimes disguised “workaholicism.”

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Parents and grandparents will often choose their children or grandchildren as the number one subject to take pictures of and understandably so. Children are fun and entertaining to watch, but unfortunately, they won’t remain children forever.

That’s why parents take as many photographs as they can to capture some of those fun and entertaining moments their children provide them. As the kids get older, those precious seconds, minutes, and hours will start to fade away.

Photographs help freeze those moments in time, so that they can enjoy their children even when their children are adults. The problem is that children aren’t always the most cooperative or easy subjects to photograph. Here are some tips to help you out:

Take photos of them regularly

The more photos you take of your children, the better off you are. After awhile, children will start to get used to you clicking off photos of them and will sometimes even stop long enough to pose for a photo or two.

Children are more interested in exploring and doing what they want to do.

The last thing they think of is whether or not what they’re doing is a photographable moment. Once they get used to you taking pictures and see the results of them, they’ll be less likely to run off the next time you want take a photo of them.

Be prepared

The best pictures taken of children are those instant and unexpected moments. Trying to set up the scene for a photo opportunity is next to impossible, because the child is not likely to stick with a pose for more than a second or two.

The world is full of distractions. A slow crawling bug can grab their attention faster than you can whip out your camera. Instead of trying to set up your photo with them, simply have your camera ready and shoot the second you see something to capture on film; like them watching the crawling bug.

For those Set up moments

Of course, the instant, unexpected moments are the best option, but sometimes you want to actually set the scene for your photo opportunity; such as portrait taking. When those rare moments occur, you need to have a helping hand or two to aid in making the opportunity a success.

Have your camera adjusted and ready to go before you even try it. Everything should be in place before your child is placed in the chosen area. Your assistants’ job is to distract the child by standing behind or close to you and doing whatever it takes to get the child’s attention on them and try to get them to smile.

When your child looks in that direction and has a smile or something close to it; that’s when you should quickly take the photograph. Get one or two more if possible just for good measure. Try not to spend too much time on it. The more time you take, the more irritable they could become.

Photographing children can be difficult, but they can also be fun. Learn to be patient and don’t expect perfection when it comes to your children and photos. Focus on capturing moments in time rather on getting the most perfect picture possible. A picture of a child dumping sand on themselves and laughing is a much better photo opportunity then a child in a fancy outfit crying because they’re uncomfortable and irritable.

Have you used positive parenting tips to make the relationship with your kids better? If you haven’t, you will want to know how to after you read this article. Warning: if you don’t want to make positive changes to better your life, don’t read this now!

Reason #1: When you are fighting a lot with your kids, you no doubt yell, scream, and are harsh on them, just as anyone else would be. This, as you know, will work for a short while, but it is usually only a little while before all heck breaks out again, and again.

Reason #2: These typical harsh methods of parenting that you use when you come down hard on your children don’t work, as you know. Here’s the reasons they don’t work and some very negative consequences!:

1. These styles of parenting result in fear and stress. Cortisol is then manufactured and goes to the brain, all because of the increased stress! The result is your kids become disoriented, and they will then show you the bad behaviors that you’ve seen them exhibit all along!

2.

Your children will be likely to have low self worth, and they will likely be prone to violence or exhibit other negative behaviors.

3. Delinquency, because of unconsciously suppressed behavioral problems, can result from over exposure to cortisol!

In order for your child’s brain to mature cortisol free, you can learn positive parenting tips. These will help you to deal with your children in a more positive way!

Reason #3: What is often lost in the craziness of everyday life, and all the bickering among your family, is hope that things can actually be better. Can you imagine your children doing what you ask just because it’s the right thing to do?

If you have had enough of the constant arguing between you and your children, and you would like to check out how positive parenting tips can alter your life, then…

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Article by Steve Gillman

Backpacking with children can be a challenge, but it is a good way for kids to learn about the outdoors and develop independence and responsibility. It is also just a great way to have fun. That is, as long as you plan well. Here are four tips to help you out.

1. Generate Interest

Forcing uninterested children to go backpacking is probably a bad idea. They are likely to resist, cause problems, and ruin the trip for all. So try to generate some interest first. A couple good outdoor movies can help. Try to find movies with characters who are the same age or a little older than your children. After watching them, suggest the idea of backpacking and gage the response.

If you aren’t sure that your children are old enough for backpacking, try a camp-out in the back yard first. Let them help set up the tent. See how well they make it through the night, and try your best to make the experience fun for them.

2. Have The Children Plan With You

The more the kids are involved in the whole process, the better. Let them help in choosing the trails you will hike, but narrow the options ahead of time to those most appropriate. Allow them to suggest what foods to bring, again narrowing their options to meals that make sense for a backpacking trip. Show them how to use a map, and how to judge daily hiking distances. Then let them help in the packing.

3. Give Them Responsibilities

If they are old enough, have the children set up the tent or make the fire. If they are younger, you might have them collect sticks to burn, or prepare their sleeping pad and bag for the night. Give them things that they can handle, and let them know they are doing a good job (if they are).

When backpacking with children, it’s okay to let them get a little ahead of you if there are no dangerous animals in the area. Let them be out of sight just a bit, as long as you can hear them or quickly catch up. And tell the older children that they are responsible for keeping an eye on the younger ones.

4. Bring Fun Items

Most adults love the opportunity to get away from all the things of home, and can sit talking for hours while watching the sun set. Backpacking with children, though, might require some more entertainment. Bringing a movie player is probably a bad idea, since the idea is to have a new and different experience. On the other hand, there are things that are fun and perfectly appropriate to backpacking.

For example, a pair of binoculars can keep young ones entertained for long stretches. One pair is enough, so they can learn to share. If they are old enough, a pocket knife and a quick lesson on how to make a walking stick might be a good idea. For evenings in camp a deck of cards is small enough to bring, and you can teach them a new game each night.

Finally, make sure that when backpacking with children you teach them the rules of the woods. Show them where and how to go to the bathroom, what is allowed and what isn’t. Teach them to respect the wilderness, and treat it right.

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Children’s birthday parties are beginning to join the ranks with other holidays that have lost the purpose for being. If your children, friends, neighbors, or even other parents are getting on your last nerve about what you should buy, what you should do, and who you should invite to your children’s birthday party, take a break and read on for some tips on how to curb the competition.

First thing, throw all of the above right out the window. Create an “experience” for the child and friends looking forward to this special event. If you’ve got a child harping for ponies, clowns and high-priced gadgets, perhaps it is time to sit down and have a little chat. Children learn what the world teaches them. Parents and guardians are at the forefront of that education, and should be leaders in guiding them toward the proper directions in life. Spend, spend, spending is not a proper direction, no matter how you look at it, and no matter how much money you have.

It’s just not necessary to hire the best clowns, purchase the most expensive gifts, and decorate floor to ceiling for the favorite fleeting cartoon or fairy theme of the week. Even if you’ve got an unlimited supply of money, a children’s birthday party would be better spent creating special and interactive situations, and focusing on the children’s level of fun and excitement. While having the best of the best seems like it would be most appreciated and the greatest idea for the children, by doing this you instill the competitive feelings of materialism in children who might be less fortunate, as well as teaching the birthday child that the sky’s the limit on material things.

If money is an issue, shop the dollar and discount stores in your local area. Many unique and higher quality items can be located by simple browsing. One can find giftwrap, greeting cards, bows, wrapping paper, party favors and cute gift items for one dollar or less. If your child’s favorite ‘theme’ is not available, order a themed cake, and find something fun but unrelated for the rest of the spread.

You might either purchase or provide craft kits, or items for the children to make at your party. This will be fun, interactive and eat up some time. Children should be fairly engaged in completing their work so that they can share with others. This and the party games should be just about enough healthy competition for one party.

Set up children’s party games.  A great website for ideas is linked HERE . You can play classic games like ‘Pin the Tail on the Donkey’ or other fun games like ‘Ha Ha Ha.’ This too will keep them focused on fun and healthy competition, rather than who got what and how expensive the gifts might or might not be.

Surely your main focus is for everyone involved to have fun. Children learn what they are taught, so shower love, attention and excitement over all the children involved, and they will surely remember your party over that 0 gift item they received last year.